WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
