at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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