So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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