i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
areolas are like halos for boobs.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
