I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
