she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
