very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
