This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
