it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
