Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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