My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
