The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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