Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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