I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
