I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
