Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize