oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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