i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
