Just mADE A PArabola og urine
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize