And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
