I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just high enough for therapy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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