I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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