Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
