I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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