genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
