No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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