Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i think my cat just said my name.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
