He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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