yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
