We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
