they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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