i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
