are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my being single is dangerous.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
