They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
