I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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