quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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