my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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