I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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