So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
