He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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