You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
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