i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
