SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
