Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize