I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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