Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
