you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
