You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
