You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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