Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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