She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
