It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
