so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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