I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
