Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
