Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
