hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
