in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
