I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
