im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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